I have officially stopped taking my anti-depressants. The last three weeks were just as hard as at the beginning. I still noticed the effect even when I was dividing up one pill for seven days. That’s right: I counted out 17 beads for each day.

Although I’ve been told that anti-dees only work if you are taking 75mg a day, I could still feel the effects of 17 beads a day. So, for the last week, I counted out seven days at 8 beads a day, and guess what? I could still feel it.

Is it possible that we are given a lot more than we really need, all for the sake of selling product?

Memba when they used to give horse dosages of birth control pills before they realized that it only required a fraction of the original amount to be effective…

I still have two days of 17 beads, for those days when I still feel down.

Have I mentioned that I’m pleased. :-) But I’m still concerned about becoming a mega bitch and alienating my family and friends.

The pots and pans demonstrations against Quebec’s anti-protest law are pure joy. Here’s my neighbourhood demonstration in Montreal

http://bit.ly/LqpEnq

E L James’ second marketing coup: book w/ soundtrack and a great sound track

http://bit.ly/JyPmbX

The Don’t Be that Guy Campaign created by Sexual Assault Voices of Edmonton (SAVE). The campaign puts the blame squarely on the shoulders of the perpetrators.

http://www.theunexpectedtnt.com/2012/01/partial-success-dont-be-that-guy.html

Yes, I did hit a low point this week. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I usually feel great a few days before depression hits me. When I’m up, I’m also ambitious and plan tons of activities. Then I start to lose steam and feel overwhelmed. The three blog posts I’d plan are not done; the short story I’m writing is crap; and I feel fat.

Then I feel angry. Yes, why anger? Is it a reaction, a survival technique to stop the momentum of lethargy that slowly seeps into my body. I know what I have to do—exercise but it takes so much energy, which I just don’t have. I also have problems with speech. I forget what I’m saying in mid-sentence,and I’m slow in reacting to what people have said to me. I find this frustrating.

I suffer from short bouts of cyclical depression, but it doesn’t matter how many times it drags me down. I’m still in denial for the first part of it. I can always find reasons to justify why I’m angry. When I change my plans and wait for this bout to pass, my whole outlook changes.

My slide started on Thursday, and by Friday afternoon, I’d hit my lowest point and started to come back up. Meditation helped. Close your eyes and try to see a colour you love on the back of your eyelids. It takes a while to see it, but after you’ve done it about three times, you should feel better or at least relaxed. This is much healthier than playing the endless depressing loop over and over in your mind.

I still felt down this morning, but I had enough energy to do some gardening and go for a bike ride with my daughter. Today, I’ll just try to keep busy, and I know that it’s only a matter of a day, and I’ll be myself again. I’m just bummed as I was about to finish a short story and submit it to a contest. The deadline is tomorrow at midnight. Oh well.

Total: two completely useless days. Plus I cried at work, which was incredibly embarrassing, but let’s face it. Crying is a release.

Blue flower with macro.

thenearsightedmonkey:

Via mudwerks:

Sylvester Weaver & Walter Beasley | St. Louis Blues

SPECIAL TO THE WHAT IT IS CLASS:

Tonight during the last 15 minutes of class when everyone in the room was writing a story with the oldest writing tools in continuous use a HAND MADE CHINESE PAINT BRUSH and HAND-GROUND CHINESE INK with NO HESITATION  Made Professor Lynda SO HAPPY! She had to drive straight home, have some scotch and then a little more scotch and play this sweet recording a few times in a row.

Ru by Kim Thuy

A beautiful book of a Vietnamese odyssey.

http://www.theunexpectedtnt.com/2012/04/review-of-ru-by-kim-thuy.html

calmeuphoria asked: Hi, i take effexor too. But i'm always stoping and taking again because of the libido problem. Have you taken affexor for how long? At some point, this withdrawl problem disappeared? Greetings from Brasil :)

I used to do the stopping and taking again thang, and the withdrawal symptoms were not that bad. But when I took it regularly for two years after my first child was born, I had a terrible time trying to go off it. I experienced nausea and headaches, and I was really irritable. I’ve also learned that the longer you take them (I’ve now been taking them for over eight years) the more severe the problems you will experience. I lost my libido a few years ago, but I also had a lot of brain shivers (they feel like an electrical current in your brain or in different parts of your body - somewhat troubling). Before I stopped taking them, I did a lot of research and discovered the “discontinuation syndrome.” If you google this, you will see that the withdrawal symptoms stop a lot of people from successfully going off them, but it may depend on the dosage. I took 75mg for at least 6 years. Then my mother died so I upped my dosage by another 37.5 mg to 112.5 mg. It may be harder to go off higher dosages.

How much were you taking? (It will say on the pill itself, and you have to take at least 75mg for the Effexor to work.

Greetings from spring-like Canada. Am so envious that you live some place warm. :-)!

Review of 50 Shades of Grey

http://www.theunexpectedtnt.com/2012/03/review-50-shades-of-grey.html